By Dex Tooke
The Del Rio Fitness and Racing Team, aka DR FART are a group of local male and female exercise enthusiasts that enjoy running, bicycling, swimming and walking to stay in shape. The Dr. FART tee shirts and jerseys have been recognized globally at events like the San Antonio Rock-N-Roll Marathon, the Boston Marathon, the Hawaii Ironman, the Hotter-N-Hell Hundred, the Tejas 500, the TorTour Ultra Race in Switzerland and the Race Across America.
During daylight savings time the FARTS would meet every Tuesday and Thursday at Fisherman’s Headquarters at 6:00 pm to do their weekly rides. Usually there were about 10-12 local riders that showed up to tear up the pavement.
Tuesdays took the group to Amistad Lake via Hwy 90 to Governor’s Landing and Southwinds Marina. The Thursday route was North on Hwy 277 to the ‘never get there microwave tower’. Both rides were about 25 miles in length.
The strongest rider in the group was large built with tree trunk sized thighs. He would always lead the group into the headwinds while everyone else tried to hang on in his draft. He was like a strong diesel engine with those huge thighs acting as his pistons.
One thing about Tree Trunk is that he could never pass anything up on the shoulder. By that I mean you never know what you are going to run across on the shoulder of the highway. It didn’t make any difference what it was, a screwdriver, socket wrench, a hunter’s cap, a personal flotation device that had blown out of the back of a boat…..Tree Trunk would always stop and pick them up. He became known as the scavenger.
On the Tuesday ride there was one hill near the National Park Service headquarters (at that time) that was the real test for the FARTS. This hill was where the gloves came off and everyone was on their own to be the first to the top of the hill. The hill was where we separated the boys from the men. Yeah, it was a pissing contest.
Tree Trunk was a very experienced bike racer. He had a wealth of bike racing savvy. As he approached the hill, he would hang at the back of the group at the start of the descent. While all of us smaller riders were working our little tails off, he would sit on our wheels just waiting for the right time to use his weight and power to whiplash past us. He would then use his momentum to carry him up the ascent on the other side.
Try as hard as I did every Tuesday, Tree Trunk would always burn me and everyone else on the hill. It was very frustrating for the competitive side of me.
Then one Tuesday something very strange occurred. We were on the hill. All of us working our little legs off on the descent just waiting for the inevitable Tree Trunk to come whipping by us. And he did, and as he began to use his momentum up the other side, Tree Trunk began to slow. Slower and slower until he finally came to a stop. The entire group of the FARTS caught and passed Tree Trunk on the hill.
You see, I just couldn’t stand being burned on that hill another time. Before the Tuesday ride, I had gone out to the hill and strewn a couple of dollars of quarters on the shoulder of the road. I knew Tree Trunk could never pass up a quarter. And I knew that was the only way I was going to beat him.
